Sigh!

My husband is one of the most amazing people I have ever met.  He has gifted me with two beautiful children and a life that I couldn't have dreamed up if I tried.  Today I am sitting here wondering if there is something I could have done to prevent our most recent battle that we are facing together.  I know that I couldn't stop him from going to that "place" or seeing war at such a young age...but one can wish right?  Daily we walk this path together, I love him in everything he is even when he thinks that I shouldn't I do.
Seeing him cry in his sleep, or yell out for those who are no longer with us is a task that is meant for only those of us who have chosen to be a soldier/servicemember's significant other.  When I decided to be his wife I knew that there would be tough days, but little did I realize how hard it would be to try and stand by him when he doesn't even realize that I am there.  At night he re-lives those days in the sandbox only to wake up in our bed lying next to me, leaving him confused and distraught.  What am I to do?  There really is nothing that I have found to be productive other than look at him and tell him, I love you baby, and move on with the day.  I recently asked a long-time friend, when do you think that I will get the man I fell in love with back...he looked at me and said "he never left you stupid girl".  Knowing he meant no harm in the comment I began to think about it.  The reality is the man I fell in love with is still there...but he is hidden deep inside of the soldier reeling from the long term mental scars of war.  But still the ? begs...when or for that matter will he ever return to the carefree over grown child I saw most of the first year we were together?
With that ? out there I sit and smile through most of what I can...he need not know that is wife, for whom he supposed to take care of, is sad and scared to see him so distraught.  SO i walk through life waiting for moments like this to let the feelings free and discharge them to be able to go through with the rest of the day/week until I get another moment.